I went to Curves three days last week. Hey, that's good for me considering I haven't exercised in years. I have been a little sore, but not too bad. I thought I would be a lot more sore than I have been. The exercise machines aren't the problem. I really don't have any problem with them or walking in place in between machines. What I have a problem with is the cool down stretch after the workout!
Picture this .... I finish my work out and am sweating like a pig. The 5,000 gallons of oil spilling into the Gulf right now is nothing compared to the sweat gushing out of my body. I don't think there is a spot that is not sweating. And my eyes! Oh, my eyes! The sweat runs into my eyes and I think I am going blind. I'm lightheaded from the workout, there is sweat in my eyes and I'm starting to see a few stars. I feel like I am flailing around like a kid that just got off the merry-go-round at the park and I feel a touch of nausea coming on. Agony ..... pure agony .....
I think I can sneak out without the cool down. What is the point anyway? I've worked my tail off for 30 minutes to get my heart rate to fat-burning level and now they want me to cool off and get my heart rate down. Don't think so. I worked hard for this heart rate and I am not cooling it down!
Oh, no! "Amy don't forget to stretch and cool down," a voice says. Crap, they know me already. But they are so kind. They have a poster on the wall reminding the people like me that are so exhausted that we can't focus or recall anything they have been told in the last 48 hours.
The first few stretches are easy enough. Then I have to stretch my arm over my head and grab my elbow in my other hand and pull it toward my head. This is when I really realize that my arms have shrunk. I couldn't reach my elbow to save the free world at this point. Then I have to get on the floor and get into these contortionist position that can only be good for training for the world championship Twister competition!
But it's almost over for today. I can see the door. It's not the exit, but if I can crawl or drag my body to it, I can use the doorknob to pull myself to a standing position. Then, maybe, just maybe I can recall how to walk to the front door.
