Can't beat the ants

Anyone who knows me well knows that I curse ants.
I don't understand why I have such a problem with them. If we go a few weeks without rain, ants come inside to find water. If it rains for a few days straight, they come inside to dry out. Is it just me or does that just not make good, walking around sense?
I can't conceive why they come into my house. Surely, it can't be to find something to eat. Heck, I can't find anything to eat at my house -- I have to go to Taco Bell. And, if they are just looking for something to eat, why are they in my bathroom and my bedroom and in the living room? There's nothing in there, little ants!
I know I'm not the only one that has ant issues. I think even my exterminator is buffaloed by them. And when I look online there are tons of remedies for getting rid of ants. I have tried most of them. They all work for a short time and then they are back with a vengeance. Then it's back to the drawing board once again.
Speaking of drawing boards, one of the remedies I hear is to use chalk -- plain white chalk drawn in a line at the place they come in and they won't cross the line. Sounds a little like drawing a line in the sand to me, and I've tried that with them and they aren't scared.
Another idea was to use cayenne pepper, black pepper, baby powder, mint, cloves or cinnamon sprinkled where ever you see ants. The smell of these items seems to turn them off and they stay away.
Let me try to rationalize this. I enjoy eating food sprinkled with cayenne or black pepper. I love to smell baby powder on a baby, and mint and cinnamon smell pretty good too, yet, ants don't like them. However, on any given day I can drive by a garbage can filled with rotten, decaying food that stinks to high heaven and the ant trail is three miles long and two miles wide. That makes about as much sense as ... well, none of this makes any sense.
I've also read that you can mix cleaning products or vinegar with water and give them a good spray and they will kick the bucket too. One remedy was to mix vodka and water and douse them with that. It cautioned that if the ants seems to die, but are gone when you come back to clean them up that they just got drunk and went home. They'll be back at happy hour.
One of the best ideas I've heard lately, but have been a little leery to try is cornmeal. Supposedly you can sprinkle cornmeal around the perimeter of your house and the ants will eat it and dehydrate or explode or something. Now, I have to admit, the thought of an ant exploding does appeal to the one sinister bone I have in my body, yet, I hesitate. What would happen if I sprinkled cornmeal around my house and it rained? And then the temperature hit a steamy 100 degrees? I'll tell you .... cornbread muffin city, that's what. That would just be more that they can eat, plus there would be rain, so it's basically an invitation for them to come inside. I'm not falling for that!
There was an old Bugs Bunny cartoon where Bugs tried his best to beat an adversary. He couldn't do it and by the end of the show he bowed out gracefully and said, "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em." I guess that is where I am now. The next time the ants come in singing their fight song that Dave Matthews wrote when he couldn't get rid of them, I guess I'll chime in ..."All the little ants are marching; red and black antenna waving; they all do it the same, they all do it the same way ..."